Just came back from the day stay of my SM (aka Spiritual Mulitplier) retreat...Apparently as a new SM im supposed to camp there, at Praisehaven, Salvation Army (the popular venue for Encounter Weekend camps-hee). Recently, i had a lot of struggles concerning my results and my parents' permission for going to the SM retreat. One of the reasons why they din even let me stay overnight is cos of something that happened in meta camp in dec dat led me to stay in hosp. :) anw, ive let go of that incident a long time ago le. Its really an accident, i can say. :) Yesterday, bcos of this permission thingy, i had a pretty bad start of the day, bcos of sth happened btw me and my mum regarding the retreat thingy. Ive been hurt by the words she used on me. :( and yes, i managed to pour out my feelings to the other SMs as i shared...

Also, as i was preparing my heart for the camp, the Lord reminded me again how im called to be an SM for a purpose, in Jeremiah 1: 5-19. Basically Jeremiah 1:5-10 speaks to me most. It says:

" "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." "Ah, Sovereign Lord,", I said, "I do not know how to speak, for I am only a child." But the Lord said to me, "Do not say 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone i send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I AM with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord. Then the Lord reached out His hand and touched my mouth and said to me," Now i have put my words in your mouth. See, today i appoint you as ruler over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."" Jeremiah 1:5-10

Wow! isnt that already a confirmation? in december 2008 at Encounter Weekend, my group leader, Charmaine, prophecised this verse over me as she was praying for me. At that time i did not understand what this word meant. Now, recently, as i follow my daily devotional, the Living Life, the Lord yet again reminded me of this scripture. What a beautiful reminder from Him! I believe that this verse, now shows me again that the Lord again called me to be an SM for a special reason! also just last sunday, this verse was one of the verses that Ps Khong shared during his sermon on sunday.

But i know, as i embark on this journey, i know that this journey will never be an easy journey at all. There will confirm be obstacles like my disciples not coming for dg, etc. So its never gonna be easy. My previous SMs, cheryl and Tina can testify to that. :) But even though being an SM will never be easy, but i know , that , as God said to Jeremiah "... for I AM with you and will rescue you...", He will always be with me. :)

I wanna thank all my previous SMs, Tina, who has been my SM since yr 1 for the whole year, and Cheryl Lim, my yr 2 sem 1 SM, for always being there for me, guiding me, "training" me and for loving me, praying for me and accepting me in the DGs. The lessons i learnt thru u will never be forgotten. :) God has indeed used you greatly for His glory. :) God bless u as you all go on your ways after you graduate. Keep in touch, k? :)

-Smile! God Loves you! :)-